


The Difference Between Nightmares and Weird Dreams

by Zanya



Series: Falling Between the Lines [5]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Early Mornings, Established Relationship, Humor, Language, M/M, Mild Sexual Humor, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 09:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zanya/pseuds/Zanya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Ed's dreams are as strange as himself. And sometimes Roy's curiosity gets the better of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Difference Between Nightmares and Weird Dreams

Roy blindly reached over—his hand feeling around on the nightstand to stop that cursed noise—and hit his alarm a few times before he managed to turn it off. He didn’t want to get jabbed in the back by automail, though Ed’s side of the bed felt uncharacteristically cold. He rolled over and noticed that it was empty. Occasionally Ed did get up before him but usually meant he had been woken up from a bad dream. 

He yawned, got up out of bed, stretched his arms over his head, and then scratched his belly. Roy stumbled his way to the bathroom and flicked on the light. He blearily looked at himself in the mirror. Five thirty in the morning didn’t agree with him so well, but Hawkeye had been kind enough to remind him of an early meeting with Fuhrer Grumman so he had to be there on time. At least he didn’t have to worry about waking Ed up along with him. 

When he reached for the facet, it stuck for a moment before the water finally turned on. Good thing he had scheduled an appointment with the plumber for today. He’d have to ask Ed to make sure the sink was looked at after the plumber fixed the run in their toilet. 

After brushing his hair and teeth, he turned out the light and went to find Ed to see why he was up so early. Roy could smell fresh coffee when he walked down the short hallway that led into the living room. He stopped when he reached their living room, noticing that only one lamp had been turned on. 

Ed sat in the middle of the living room floor, with his legs crossed, and still wearing his flannel pajama pants. He was propped up against the easy chair, reading a book. His hair hadn’t been brushed yet and stuck up in several places. An empty mug sat beside him. Before he and Ed had started seeing each other, Roy hadn’t bothered to put much furniture in his new apartment in Central. But after awhile, one couch and a small table hardly seemed like enough for the two of them so he added a chair and two stands to put things on. 

Roy leaned against the wall and smiled. “Good morning.” 

“Mornin. There’s fresh coffee made.” Ed waved a hand towards the kitchen without even pausing in the book. 

Pushing away from the wall, Roy meandered out to the kitchen, glanced at the partial pot of coffee, and then opened up the cupboard above the counter. He grabbed his mug that Ed had bought him for his last birthday. It had small letters scrawled across it that read, _if you can read this then your ass is toast._

His knee painfully popped when he reached for the pot of coffee, reminding him that perhaps he should spend a little less time on them. Roy stopped, mid pour, and stared at the wall for a second. No, it had totally been worth hearing Ed’s voice reach that pitch last night. He’d take a little pain for enjoying that treat any day of the week.

Once he deemed his mug adequately filled with his life force, he walked back into the living and sat down on the couch. Ed still didn’t seem to notice him so he cleared his throat and decided to dive in head first. 

“Thank you for making coffee.” Roy took a drink and relished in the warmth of the mug against his hands. 

“Hey.” Ed set down his book and gave him a crooked smile almost like he only now realized Roy was awake. 

“You’re up early.” Roy hunched forward, holding his coffee between his hands. “Is there something wrong?”

“Nah,” Ed picked his book back up and started reading again. “Had a weird dream is all.” 

Roy sat there, silent, wondering what to say. His mind still felt like it was chasing sleep. And the response he got could lead to so many things. Ed’s version of a weird dream could either mean another nightmare or that it simply was odd and nothing more. The problem at hand was that he couldn’t always tell. Not unless he pried for more information. Ed’s idea of a nightmare and a weird dream sometimes crossed indistinguishable paths.

“Weird as in,” Roy paused to drink his coffee and then gestured with his right hand for clarification. “strange or weird as in bad?”

Ed looked up at Roy with an annoyed look on his face. “Weird, as in totally fucking weird, oddest dream I’ve ever had, it’s only Monday and holy shit what the hell just happened, I don’t even know what to think or where to begin with it so I’m going to read and hopefully forget about it or else I might go crazy, kind of weird. I seriously laid in bed for twenty minutes trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with my brain.”

“Too many hot sausage rolls last night?” Roy had a sneaking suspicion that’s what spawned Ed’s dream last night. Before he headed to bed, Ed had already downed five hot sausage rolls and showed no signs of slowing down. 

“To hell with that,” Ed groused while turning another page in his book. “I will not be defeated by food.” 

“What was it about?” Roy scooted further back into the couch when Ed gave him a baleful glare. “What? Now you’ve got me curious. You can’t say all that and then stop. It’s too late. The dam has already broken so out with it.”

“Fine,” Ed hissed at Roy and carefully set the book down beside him, making sure to keep his place. “The dream was about Winry.” When Roy raised an eyebrow, Ed gave him a somewhat innocent yet somehow irritated look. “Not anything like that, jeez. Paranoid much?” He slowly tapped his fingers against the cover of his book. “Anyway, I told you she’s due at anytime didn’t I?”

“Yes.” Roy vaguely remembered Ed rambling on about how they had to have the end of the month off to go visit Winry in Resembool because she was due to ‘pop out’ her third child. “And?”

“Well, okay, so in the dream she had the baby, only it had two heads.” Ed held up his hand to stop any comments. “It gets weirder, trust me. So this baby had two heads, and one looked like me and the other looked like you.”

A snicker escaped Roy before he could stop it. Then he stopped when Ed shot a glare at him. He would never get to hear the end of the dream if he didn’t behave himself. “I’m sorry. Truly I am. Go on.”

“And this weirdo, two-headed baby, the one head, the one that looked like you, could breathe fire. Like, okay.” He paused, frowned, then muttered to himself. “Imagine…. Not just fire, but these huge, gigantic fire balls the size of Armstrong. I swear they were that big. They were bigger than us.” Ed held out his hands as wide as they could go. “And the damn thing kept spitting them out whenever I tried to get a closer look.”

“Freaky,” Roy chimed in with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“See, this is why I didn’t want to say anything. Not only do I have to relive that crappy dream, but now I have to deal with your commentary on it.” Ed put his chin in his hand and hunched forward. He gave Roy a deadly glare even though they both knew he didn’t mean it. “And your snickering.”

“I’m… sorry?” Roy held back another giggle, unwilling to get himself into even more trouble. “It’s the way you’re telling it. Not the dream itself.”

Ed suspiciously looked Roy up and down. “I see how it is. It’s my fault then.”

“No.” Roy hid his smile behind his cup of coffee and peeked over the rim. “Maybe? Yes? I like that you can make me laugh no matter what. Anyway, what happened next?”

“Not much. The two-headed baby kept following me around. While the Roy half shot fire balls everywhere, the Ed half was scribbling out arrays on everything and trying to activate them. A few times, huge floor hands came out of nowhere and tried to grab me. The little shit could crawl really fast.” Ed gesticulated with his hands, which ended up all over the place through the air. Roy tried to follow the quick, jerky movements until his eyes started to cross. “I swear, if Winry has a two-headed baby, we’re not staying. We’re turning around and coming back here. I don’t care how mad she gets because the hell with that shit.”

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.” Roy calmly added, trying hard to keep the amusement out of his voice. “I’m sure her baby will only have one head and won’t look like either of us.”

“It had better not look anything like you.” Ed gave Roy a pointed look that would have seemed serious to anyone who didn’t know him well. “Or else I’ll castrate you.”

“Surely, you can’t be worried about that.” Roy’s eyes widened and rounded out into the most innocent look he could muster so early in the morning. 

“Nah, I’m not.” Ed shrugged and then popped his shoulder. “I know better. Every time I walk into the room, your dick curves in my direction, which is kind of cool to be honest. Still, it might be fun to chase you around her house and pretend like I’m threatening you. That’ll get her going for sure.”

Roy put forth his most winning grin or at least it felt like it. Who really could tell this early in the morning how he looked when his face still felt partially stiff from the need to wake up more. “You can do that regardless of how the baby looks. I’ll even act surprised and put out if you want.”

“I like it when you pretend to be put out, but I know you’re secretly enjoying one of my rants.” Ed grinned at him cockily. “Always makes the rant so much more satisfying.”

“I like it when you put out,” Roy casually added with a slightly smug tone in his voice. 

“Do you now?” Ed couldn’t stop a chuckled from escaping. Most people would never guess how silly Roy could be sometimes with his suggestiveness. “Always suspected you were a pervert.” 

“Suspected?” Roy titled his head forward and raised an eyebrow at that. “I’m hurt that you haven’t figured that out already.”

“Sorry, brain is fried from that weird dream.” Ed pointed to his head and moved his fingers around in a circle. “I think it made me half nuts this morning.”

“Sounds more like a nightmare.” Roy crossed his left leg over his right. “And stressful with all the running you did in it.”

“Nah, it’s cool. A nightmare would have consisted of you bringing home an endless supply of paperwork, giving me those big puppy-dog eyes, and roping me into helping you with it.” Ed actually shuddered at the thought. The last time he helped Roy with paperwork, it had taken them pulling an all-nighter to finish. 

“An endless supply, huh?” Roy shot Ed a dry look. “And how would that work, exactly?”

“Yeah, endless. Like that one story where that little girl finds a magic pot that keeps making marshmallow and onion soup until it over takes the whole town. Only instead of a pot, it’d be one of those trays you keep around in your office.”

“That sounds eerily like a typical day at work. I’ll finish it all, turn around, and then it’s magically full again. I swear Hawkeye was a ninja in a past life.” Roy sighed and rubbed his eyes. That only reminded him of what lay in store for him at work unless he could convince Hawkeye to take pity on him. He would have a better chance of getting struck by lightening, but for Ed’s sake, and his sanity he’d try to take an early day. 

“Do you really have to go to that meeting this morning?” Ed got up on his knees and put his hands on front of him so he could stretch. He arched his back once before he started a slow crawl towards Roy on his hands and knees. “Cause I’d really like to enjoy an uninterrupted morning with you.”

“The Fuhrer himself asked for the meeting so I have to go.” Roy swallowed, closely watching Ed’s cat-like movements towards him. Thoughts of his important meeting were growing further from his mind. The tightening in his pants didn’t help either. “But I had planned to see if I could take the rest of the day off if there’s nothing pressing to do.”

“I’ll give you something pressing to do.” Ed planted his hands on Roy’s knees and pulled himself up so that he settled nicely between them. “All you have to do is make one little phone call.” 

“As much as I’d love for you to do that, I don’t think it’d be a good idea for us to start when I have to get ready soon.” Roy’s fingers moved down to Ed’s hair and gently smoothed it out. Their heads touched, and he moved his hand so that he cupped the side of Ed’s face. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Ed leaned into Roy’s touch once before kissing his forehead. Ed stood up and went back over to where he had been sitting on the floor to grab his book. “Go do what you gotta do and be responsible. I’ma go back to my book, forget that weird-ass dream, and hopefully see you around lunch time if not sooner.”

Roy emptied his cup and then got up from the couch, which he barely managed to do before Ed slid in and stole his spot. He stopped by the kitchen on his way to set the mug in the sink. Then he remembered something so he stuck his head back into the living before he went to get dressed. “Oh, I almost forgot to mention that the plumber will be stopping by sometime this morning to fix the toilet. Do you mind asking him to take a look at the facet? It keeps sticking whenever I try to turn it on.”

“Yep, plumber, fix toilet, look at facet, screw your brains out later. Got it.” Ed burrowed down further into the spot where had been sitting and kept reading. “Tell the gang I said hello.”

“I’ll let them know.” Roy gave Ed a short wave of his hand. 

He quickly walked back to their bedroom, hoping to get dressed and to the meeting as soon as possible. He had plans, better things to do, and they definitely coincided with the last part on Ed’s list. He didn’t care if he had to pull a stealth maneuver and sneak out of the office. Hawkeye would have to turn her head away at some point. Roy opened up his closet, pulled out his uniform, and began to get ready. He was certain he could pull a few strings for an unexpected phone call to her.

**Author's Note:**

> Lol, I can't seem to leave this verse alone. These little fics have been nice stress relief. Again, take this series with a grain of salt. At least with these particular oneshots. They're for fun and not meant to be read in a serious manner.


End file.
